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I Want Candy!!!!!!

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One of the drawbacks of having a long engagement is having more time to add things you dont really need. When we first started planning I wanted a candy buffet, but after discovering that it would cost several hundred dollars to have one that didnt look skimpy, we decided to go with a late night buffet instead. But during an episode of Four Weddings that I forced my fiance to watch, the guests were going crazy over the candy buffet and he decided that he really wanted one. Who am I to crush his dreams?

While doing my research, I have come across several elements that make a good candy buffet:

• coordinate the candy with the colors of your wedding
• use smaller containers with stems, that give the illusion of being tall but take less candy to fill
• use more than candy, add cookies or other treats
• check with your venue since some dont allow outside food for liability reasons
• dont forget a nice background

So now the search is on for purple, silver, and black candy and some cute containers. Luckily my DOC has some containers and scoops for rent at a reasonable price and she sets everything up so we have no worries. We know its something we dont need, but I'm really happy we are going to do it.

Are you splurging on any fun items for your wedding?

Getting Things Done



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 We have really been getting things done this past week. Not only did I get a great new job (yay me!), but FI's parents gave our our wedding gift early. We decided to use part of this gift toward the wedding to get the more expensive photographer and videographer we wanted. It's such a relief to know that we can get the quality we want and not have to sacrifice the coverage we want due to budget constraints.
The  biggest news of the day is that I ordered my dress and the next post will cover how I finally made a decision and where I decided to buy.

All the big deposits are out, all we have left is lighting and chairs to put a deposit on. And I guess i have more work to do on my ever growing DIY to do list.

What things have you checked off your wedding to do list this week?

The Garter

I made my garter! The actual garter is my something old, since its my best friends garter that my fiance caught at her wedding. I just made the flowers and attached them. Originally, I was looking into some garters on Etsy, but at $40+ I really didnt think it was worth it. It was so cheap to make that I think I'm going to actually toss this one instead of spending the time to make another to toss. The whole thing took me less than 5 minutes to make, since I already had the extra flowers laying around. I think it would have looked better if the garter were black, but since I already had this one why waste money on another? Plus I like the idea of incorporating something from my BFFs wedding.

Did you make your own garter or did you buy it?

One Love...Our Honeymoon is Booked!

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I have to be honest...I care more about the honeymoon than the actual wedding. I was never interested in a huge wedding and I was willing to cut back on certain things to have an amazing honeymoon. Luckily, we have been getting really great deals, so we have not really had to give up anything and we get to have an AMAZING honeymoon.

We will be going to Sandals Grande Riviera in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. We knew we wanted to honeymoon in Jamaica even before we were engaged. We went on a cruise for our first vacation together and one of the ports of call was Ocho Rios. We went on a private tour and our guide took us to Royal Plantation which is a boutique hotel (now owned by sandals), and fell in love with the place. While we were there we vowed to return for our honeymoon.

Ocho Rios has everything we were looking for in a honeymoon destination; culture, great  nightlife, sun, sand and amazing food. We originally considered Royal Plantation but determined that we could get more for our money at Sandals Grande Riviera. We booked a villa with a butler and a private pool, and since Sandals is all inclusive we dont have to worry about food, drinks or activities. But we are not the type of people to stay on the resort so we will be out and about soaking up the Jamicain culture.

Now we just have to book our flight. Where did you decide to honeymoon and why did you choose that location?

I'm Baaaak! Bride Brain Burnout



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My last post was in November, and though I would like to blame my lack of posting  on the holidays or work, but its  simply not true. The truth is, I just didnt feel like planning for a while. I was warned, that at some point in my planning I would not feel like doing anything wedding related for awhile, but I didnt believe it. Planning was so fun and I had so much to do. Who could get tired of this? Well I did.

I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that we had 2 years to plan. And after having Bride Brain for a year, my brain got tired. So, I simply stopped working on wedding stuff for a few months. But all of a sudden we realized we have 9 months left and we have a ton of things to take care of. So, I guess its time to get back to business.

Was there a point in your planning where you didnt want to think about the wedding?

Save the Dates are Going Out!

We are just under the year mark until the wedding and we are finally sending out our save the dates. Actually, I thougt it was kind of early but we kept getting questions about the date and accomodations so we decided to send them out earlier than originally planned. We got these babies free from vistaprint.com.

Bouquet Alternatives : Brooches & paper & Crystals, Oh my!

Purple bouquet

As you all know I am not a very traditional bride and I could really care less about flowers. Though flowers are beautiful, they make me sneeze and they die. And I have a huge problem with spending so much money for something that is not going to last beyond the day .  At first I wanted purple calla lillies, but after pricing them out and considering how low the bouquet was on my list of priorities, i decided to forgo one all together. But after browsing the wedding blogs the past few months, I have come across a few unique bouquet alternatives that I would consider.

Crystal Bouquet

I originally wanted a winter themed wedding and I thought these crystal bouquets would be perfect. They are really expensive, but pretty easy to DIY. I still love them but they no longer fit our theme.  You can find a great tutorial here or buy them online here.

  

Brooch Bouquet



I love bling so I am drawn to these brooch bouquets. They are kind of expensive but seem pretty easy to DIY if you can find the brooches. I really love these but think they are too vintage for my theme. What do you think?  You can find a tutorial here or buy them here.



Composit Bouquet

I loved these and considered one for my flower girl. I think they are pretty chic and I am still considering them for sure. You can find a tutorial here or buy one here.

Fabric

These  fabric bouquets are by far my favorite. Super easy and the price can vary depending on the type of fabric you use. I will post a tutorial when I'm done making mine but here is where you can buy them.

Some other ideas that are cute but did not fit my wedding

Metal:

Metal

Feathers:

Feather

Fans:

Fans

Paper:

Paper

Candles: 

Candles

In the end I think I'm going to try the fabric bouquet since I like how they look and they are fun to make. Im still going to try the composite flower since that might turn out to be pretty awesome.  But who knows, i might still decide to walk with nothing. So do you/did you have an alternative bouquet? Do you think they are trendy or will they stand the test of time?

My first DIY

Finally getting started on my long list of projects. These are the trial run of my fabric flowers and I LOVE how they came out.

Private Last Dance

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There are several songs the FI and consider "our song", so we had a very hard time deciding on one for our first dance. We decided we wanted to take dance lessons, so we wanted to choose a song early so we have time to take lessons and get plenty of practice. So while browsing the internet I came across a few lovely shots like the one above, that caught my eye.

What happens is, when all of the guests leave to get ready for your grand exit (or when they all leave if you are not doing one), you and your new husband dance together alone. Its just the two of you, the DJ and the photorapher. Or you could even have the DJ start the song and then step out. So not only do you get another intimate moment with your new husband, but you can also get some great photos!

This seems like a great solution to our first dance song problem since we can pick two songs to dance to. Plus we dont have to eliminate any songs that are difficult to dance to since for the private last dance we can just sway if we want. We plan on limiting it to about 3 minutes, which will give the guests enough time to prepare for our grand exit. Plus I love the idea of having a few moments to basks in the last few minutes of our wedding together.

Did you do this at you wedding or have you ever heard of it?

More stuff I Learned From Others Weddings

This year has been full of weddings for my fiance and I, and we still have at least one more to go. Even before we were engaged, after we attended a wedding we would point out what we would and would not do. So here is a few things we learned from the last two weddings we went to:

• Fake flower petals look fake. We originally planned on using silk petals for the aisle and for the petal toss. They are inexpensive, we can get the exact color we want, and nobody will notice the ones on the aisle are fake.....wrong. We noticed and it really detracted from the decor. So we decided real was the way to go for us, even though its going cost a lot more.
• Really long weddings suck. We all like solos and reading, but they get repetitive after a while. And 2 or more hours is way too long to hold peoples attention. At the last wedding several people made us promise our ceremony would not be so long. An hour, tops, is reasonable.
• Dont start late. Again, both these weddings started at least an hour late. That is super annoying to someone like me who likes to show up early to events. We are starting on time even if all the guests are not there.
• You can have great decor on a budget. I really liked the reception decor at both weddings even though i knew both couples had modest budget. They both had rather large ccenterpieces that really added to the space.
• Bands can be awesome. Both weddings had a live band (the same band) and it really created a nice ambieance. I would not do one for the entire night, but they are great for dinner and cocktail hour.
• Have someone with a list of tables. At the last one we could not find our escort card. Luckily the coordinator was walking around with a list so she could tell us where to sit. My FSIL grabbed our card for us, but we could not find her at the time. This lead to out decision to do a chart instead of cards.
• If people eat too much at the cocktail hour they wont eat a lot at dinner. This has been true at almost all of the NY weddings I have been too. At the last wedding the dinner was pretty good but i could not finish since i was still full from cocktail hour. And they had fruit and salad served before the entree and only a few people actually touched it. What a waste. My fiance refuses to serve a lot a food at our cocktail hour for this very reason. So far we are thinking of only offering fruit and veggies since there will be dinner and a late night buffet.
• Serve dinner while the speeches are being given. At the last wedding, I was not really hungry for dinner, but some people at my table were. And it felt like we had to wait forever for the speeches to end to be served.
• And lastly, make sure your venue is committed to service. The last wedding reception was at a very pretty venue but the service was terrible. In their defense the reception started over an hour late and there was another event right after, but the staff still should have been professional. As soon as my fiance and i arrived we heard a few complaining about the late start and how they had to hurry for the next event. During the cocktail hour if we sat our plate or drink down on the table for a second, someone was comming to take it away. At dinner my FSIL bent down to fix her shoe and when she looked up her plate was gone! I understand the need to move things along but at least ask if the person is done. They all seemed very unhappy to be there and it really brought down the experience for us.

Thats all I have for now. Have you been to any weddings lately? What have you learned?

So....Now I want to do a Wedding Trailer Save the Date!

This is the cutest thing ever :)

Cutting the guest list: The Bridezilla Rumors Begin

Image from We TV's Bridezillas via this

  Well, we received our free save the date postcards from vistaprint.com and plan on mailing them out  in November, about a year before the wedding. My FI was super excited about how they turned out, so while I had his attention I forced him to sit with me and go through the guest list to narrow it down to the people we were actually going to invite.

           This was going to be tough. We originally budgeted for 150 guests but our venue had a 180 minimum so we stretched our budget to meet that. So we really want to keep it at exactly 180. Not to mention that our vendors have to be in our headcount in order to receive vendor meals.

180 may seem like a lot but we still had to leave out some people we care about. My fiancé's father is the pastor of a fairly large church so there are a lot of church member he grew up with that he wants to invite not to  mention friends, coworkers and family members. And then there is my huge family. I have 21 aunts and uncles, most of whom are married and have a few kids so as you could imagine, my family takes up my entire half of the guest list.

So we had to make cuts and limit the list to only the closest friends and family members. We also have an age cutoff at 21 years old and are not extending  +1's (unless they are married or engaged or will not know anyone at the wedding).  Even with all this, there are still a few people that we want but wont fit so we are going to send invites out early and send a second round once we get some no RSVP's.

How did you trim down your guest list? Did you regret it?

How Soon is too Soon to Send Save the Dates?

We went to a vow renewal today, and everyone was asking for details of the wedding, such as the date and location, so they can save for the trip. Many of our guests are flying in from NYC,  a couple from Canada,  at least one from Haiti, a few from other states, and the rest will be driving 45 minutes from Ohio. So I guess it makes sense that people want the travel info now, especially in this economy, since many will have to save for the trip. We planned on doing e-save the dates but vista print gave us 100 free postcards so of course we had to order them!

FI wants to send the save the dates as early as possible but I think we should at least wait until November, one year from the wedding. Is that too early?

Decorating our Ceremony



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As you may already know, our centerpieces are going to be floating candles. We are obsessed with them and have them throughout our apartment. So naturally this was a décor element we wanted to incorporate into the ceremony space.  We were not sure if our venue would let us do it at first, but they said as long as the flames are enclosed (as in a vase), it would be ok.

I did have a few concerns about fire, but after talking to FI, I think everything will work out. The aisle is very wide  so I don’t have to worry about my dress or the bridal party getting too close to the flames. Plus they will be floating candles and the water levels will be well below the rim of the vase so the flames will be covered.

 I have this crazy seating plan in my head where the guests will be facing the aisle, kind of like a runway at a fashion show. So one of my concerns was the guests potentially kicking them over. It will be adults only, and we will make sure there is enough space between the first row of seats and the aisle for guest to comfortably maneuver without bothering the candles. Should I be worried about this?




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I also thought about spreading the candles apart, since less candles could mean less chance for accidents? As a last resort we could do more traditional seating, but I don’t really want to do that. And I don’t want to get rid of the candles because we are doing very little decoration in the space and the candles make a large impact. We talked about flameless candles but they are pretty expensive,  and we would have the floating candles anyway for the centerpieces.

Is this a crazy idea? How would you decorate my ceremony space ?

RK Bridal: The Sequel

The dress search continues, and since my mom was in town for a few days we took the opportunity to check out a few wedding dresses. I know she will likely not be there when i finally find "the one", but at least i will know the styles she likes and she could see the style i was going for. Plus i would never purchase THE dress without at least sending her a photo. My FI was with us and since he had been helping me find dresses online to try on, i knew he was looking forward to seeing a few in person. Don't worry, he wont know which dress i choose until the wedding day.

This time was a little different than the first time i was there. For one, the consultant i had this time was not really helpful. The first time the consultant really got a feel for what i was looking for, but this lady just helped me in and out of the dresses with no other assistance at all. They have so many dresses and we were rushed into picking the ones to try on so i feel like i need to go back to try one more. I also felt a lot of pressure having my mom and FI there. They are two very important people in my life so i want them to like the dress i choose, but i also didnt want to choose a dress that i didnt love just because the two of them loved it. This is going to be harder than i thought!

So here are the highlights if the trip:

This dress by Jasmine was my moms pick. At first glance I did not think it was going to work since it has a fan on the bust that I figured would  not be flattering on my large chest. But once I put it on, the fan actually looked ok. And i love the trumpet shape of the gown and how it pulls in my waist. The price was pretty good too, i think it was $750. Im not too sure how i feel about the taffeta though since most of the gowns I've been drawn to are satin or organza. Its not bad, just different. And the dress feels a little too romantic for me. I want something a little more edgy and modern. And the biggest issue is FI does not like it.







Jasmine F414



Me in the Dress

 

  I picked out the next dress. I liked the satin and how it was fitted at the top so i figured i would just give it a try. As soon as i say myself in the mirror i ruled it out. It was kind of plain and i wasnt a fan of the pick ups. My mom and FI, however, loved it. Especially after the consultant added a beaded sash (the only thing she added to the appointment). It did look better but i still wasnt sure. They loved it, and it was only $480 which woule mean I could definately afford a reception dress, but it just did not wow me. I didnt feel like it was the one.



Moonlight T450

Me in the Dress

 For the third time I tryed on the Adorae. And for the third time I loved it. I feel good in it, I look great in it, I love the material, I love the bling and it fits my wedding. But it is at the higher end of my budget, so if I want a 2nd dress I have to pay for it on my own (not out of our wedding account). And while I feel like it could be the one, I'm not as sure as everyone tells you you are going to be when you find the one. Not to mention that my mom and FI were not overly impressed. They thought it was ok, but he thought it wasnt dramatic enough and she thought it was too expensive. And they both hated the bubble hem.

Sottero and Midgley Adorae

Me in the Dress

So I guess this dress thing is going to take way longer than I thought. How long did it take you to find your dress and how did you know it was THE ONE?



How my Life has Changed After the Engagement

So we have been engaged for about 7 months now and since 3 and a half year anniversary was last week I reflected on how my life and relationships have changed since the engagement.

 For one thing, I'm way more interested in other peoples marriages and how they interact with each other. You can really learn a lot about what to do and what not to do by talking to and watching married couples.  I'm also a lot more hesitant to say anything negative about my fiancé to my family. Before I might have mentioned little fights we had but now that I am marrying him I feel like I shouldn’t. I really don’t want them judging him based on a disagreement we have since I know at the end of the day we are still going to be together (even if he does refuse to put his clothes in the hamper), and I don’t want them to still be upset with him over something I  already forgave him for.

Our disagreements have also gotten a little more intense. We don’t disagree often, and when we do its not over anything major. But to me, at least, the little things seem a lot more important since it hit me that I have to deal with it forever. However, these little disagreements has led to us really learn how to work through problems together and learn to compromise.

For the most part our engagement has been a very blessed time. I love how we make solid plans for our future. When we were dating we had hopes and dreams of things we wanted to accomplish together, but now we make solid goals with detailed plans on how to achieve them.  Instead of just saying we want to buy a house one day, we have been researching houses so we know how much we can realistically spend and how much we need to be saving for a down payment.

I kind of feel like it has also made us a little more mushy. We were pretty affectionate before, but it really intensified after the engagement. I guess there is something about promising to be with another person for life that really makes you want to kiss them. I really hope this part last well after the wedding.

All in all I hope that this amazing time in our lives actually turns out to be the low point in our lives. I pray that it only gets better from here. A girl can dream, right?

 How has your life changed since you got engaged? Were you surprised or did you expect these changes?

Super Cute STD Idea

Marthastewartweddings.com

I just had to post these adorable save the date matches from Marthastewartweddings.com. Not only are they simple, modern, and affordable, they are also very useful.

What Should my Flower Maid Carry?

We decided to limit our bridal party to our siblings and each one of our best friends. Both of our sister are adults so I decided that my step sister would be our flower Maid (since she is not quite a girl). At the time of the wedding she will be 17, so of course she is too old to use a traditional flower girl basket so i am in search of an alternative.



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 One idea was a sign like the one in the photo above. Its different, pretty easy to make, and wont make her feel like a little girl. I guess my only question is, what will she do with it during the ceremony?

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Another idea is just a simple tin bucket with petals for her to toss. Its classic and elegant and will get the job done without too much fuss.

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Since the bridesmaids will be carrying clutches, i thought it might be cute for her to carry one with petals in it that she would toss. Sounds good in theory, but not too sure how well this would actually turn out.

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My last idea is for her to carry a large fabric flower. You all know how much i wanted to use fabric flowers, so this is a cute way to incorporate them. Plus its simple, chic and mature enough for a 17 year old.

So, what would you have a teenage flower girl carry?

Whats Your Name Again?

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Lately , I have encountered (in real life and online) several engaged women who hesitate taking their future husbands last name. The reasons vary from their professional reputation to family pride and wanting their family name to go on and even simply not liking their future husbands last name.  I was kind of surprised by this since even as a very independent and progressive woman, it never occurred to me that I even had an option of not taking my husbands name.

A name is very important. Its part of who you are and who others perceive you to be. Your name makes you part of a family and no matter how large or small it is, everyone knows you belong because you share that name. Its understandable since you had it since birth, of course it will be difficult to give it up; its part of you identity. Its especially hard for a woman  whose family name will die when she is married. There becomes the extra burden of loyalty to that name and wanting it to continue.

I also see the issue from a feminist standpoint. Why does the female have to take the males name? It does seem like a nod to the notion of women as property. And what about same sex unions? Whose name should they take then?

And how will not taking your husbands last name effect your marriage? Will the husband believe you are fully committed to the relationship if you chose not to take his name? And what about the kids, whose name will they get and will the family really be unified under different last names?

While I don’t judge anyone's decision either way, I have to say that I look forward to taking my future husbands last name. I don’t feel like I will be losing my identity, but instead adding to it as my new role as a wife. As long as the couple agrees, they can do whatever they want.

So what do you think? Does having a different last name than your husband take away from a marriage? Or is it an outdated notion that should be done away with?