Super Cute STD Idea

Marthastewartweddings.com

I just had to post these adorable save the date matches from Marthastewartweddings.com. Not only are they simple, modern, and affordable, they are also very useful.

What Should my Flower Maid Carry?

We decided to limit our bridal party to our siblings and each one of our best friends. Both of our sister are adults so I decided that my step sister would be our flower Maid (since she is not quite a girl). At the time of the wedding she will be 17, so of course she is too old to use a traditional flower girl basket so i am in search of an alternative.



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 One idea was a sign like the one in the photo above. Its different, pretty easy to make, and wont make her feel like a little girl. I guess my only question is, what will she do with it during the ceremony?

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Another idea is just a simple tin bucket with petals for her to toss. Its classic and elegant and will get the job done without too much fuss.

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Since the bridesmaids will be carrying clutches, i thought it might be cute for her to carry one with petals in it that she would toss. Sounds good in theory, but not too sure how well this would actually turn out.

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My last idea is for her to carry a large fabric flower. You all know how much i wanted to use fabric flowers, so this is a cute way to incorporate them. Plus its simple, chic and mature enough for a 17 year old.

So, what would you have a teenage flower girl carry?

Whats Your Name Again?

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Lately , I have encountered (in real life and online) several engaged women who hesitate taking their future husbands last name. The reasons vary from their professional reputation to family pride and wanting their family name to go on and even simply not liking their future husbands last name.  I was kind of surprised by this since even as a very independent and progressive woman, it never occurred to me that I even had an option of not taking my husbands name.

A name is very important. Its part of who you are and who others perceive you to be. Your name makes you part of a family and no matter how large or small it is, everyone knows you belong because you share that name. Its understandable since you had it since birth, of course it will be difficult to give it up; its part of you identity. Its especially hard for a woman  whose family name will die when she is married. There becomes the extra burden of loyalty to that name and wanting it to continue.

I also see the issue from a feminist standpoint. Why does the female have to take the males name? It does seem like a nod to the notion of women as property. And what about same sex unions? Whose name should they take then?

And how will not taking your husbands last name effect your marriage? Will the husband believe you are fully committed to the relationship if you chose not to take his name? And what about the kids, whose name will they get and will the family really be unified under different last names?

While I don’t judge anyone's decision either way, I have to say that I look forward to taking my future husbands last name. I don’t feel like I will be losing my identity, but instead adding to it as my new role as a wife. As long as the couple agrees, they can do whatever they want.

So what do you think? Does having a different last name than your husband take away from a marriage? Or is it an outdated notion that should be done away with?



Wedding 101: Choosing a Day of Coordinator or Wedding Planner

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Planning a wedding long distance, I knew I was going to need help. True, I have my mom, my FSIL and my MOH's but they don’t plan weddings everyday and I still want them speaking to me by the wedding day, so I knew I needed to find professional help.

So how do you choose a wedding planner or coordinator?

First you need to determine your needs. Are you going to do all the planning yourself and just need someone to coordinate the day of? Do you want someone else to do most of the footwork for you? Or do you want something more in the middle. And most importantly you need to know what your budget is for these services. There is a difference between a wedding planner and a wedding coordinator. A planner is usually with you from the beginning and helps with everything from hiring vendors to coordinating the day of, depending on what you have in your contract. A coordinator usually takes over anywhere from a month out from the wedding to a few days before and generally handles coordinating the rehearsal and making sure the wedding day runs smoothly.

Even before I was officially engaged I started to research coordinators just to get an idea of their prices. When I looked online I kept seeing glowing reviews about a particular planner, so I shot her an email and she answered all my questions and her packages had everything I wanted. Plus she had the lowest prices in the area, while offering the most.  So of course, after meeting her we hired her.

I had very specific things I wanted in a coordinator. I wanted someone to set up/clean up centerpieces, run the rehearsal, contact my vendors to make sure they know when and where they need to be, and to basically take care of any problems that may come up on that day so my fiancé and I don’t have to worry about a thing. I also really like that my coordinator offers an hourly planning service so that if I need any planning assistance before the wedding she is there.

Here are a list of things I wanted to know about potential  coordinators:

• Is wedding planning their primary job?
• How many weddings do they do per weekend?
• Do they have references?
• Do they have photos of events they decorated? (If you are looking for someone who does decorating too)
• How often can you call/email? Will you be charged?
• What is the deposit? When is the final payment due?
• When will they take over my wedding? How long will they stay?
• Have they worked at my venue? Can they recommend vendors?

I also wanted someone who was friendly, seemed genuinely interested in my wedding, and whose personality meshed with ours.

So ladies, did you have a wedding planner or coordinator? How did you find them? And were they worth it?

Dress Search: RK Bridal

RK Bridal

So over the weekend I went dress shopping again with my future sister in law and it was very successful.  I love shopping with her because she keeps it real, and she knows fashion (she's a designer).  This time we went to RK Bridal in NYC which was an equally good, but very different experience than Kleinfields.  We went early on Friday morning, which was a good thing since there were few people in the store and we pretty much got the attention we needed. Unlike the Kleinfeld's visit, I actually remembered to bring pictures so I got to try on those dresses plus my consultant got a better sense of the style that I wanted.

The benefit to RK was that their dresses were at a much lower price point than Kleinfield, so I had more options. And their alterations were cheaper (but still too much IMHO), I could search through gowns myself, and they had a huge selection of bridesmaids and MOB dresses at very reasonable prices. But I have to admit, Kleinfeld's made me feel more special and was definitely a more upscale place.

So I tried on about 7 more dresses but a few stood out.


Casablanca



The consultant picked out this Casablanca dress which looked fabulous on me.  The crystals were very nice and I loved the shape, but it had a zipper back with buttons and I really want a corset. And the top was not as much of a sweetheart as I wanted.



Destiny by Maggie Sottero



Mia Solano



I also tried on Destiny by Maggie Sottero. It had the corset back that I love and the trumpet shape was very dramatic. It only had beading and no crystals so it didn’t have the bling factor I was looking for but it was still gorgeous. Mia Solano makes a similar gown, so I'm going to try to find a store that carries it to try that one on. From the online photos it looks like it has more bling.



Allure



We really want to dance all night at our reception so my fiancé and I decided that it would be a good idea to get a shorter dress to wear for the dance portion of the night, after all the other events are over. We both fell in love with this Allure dress online, so I was pleasantly surprised when my future sis in law found it at RK. On the hanger it looked really short, but once I got it on me I loved it.  They wanted $680 for it, which is kind of expensive for a dress I would only wear a couple hours, but the boy loves it and insists that we will find somewhere else for me to wear it. 

I also tried on the Adorae again, and I still loved it. Its still  my favorite but I have plenty of time to shop so I am staying open minded. Plus if the Mia Solano has more bling than the Destiny, there might be real competition.

I didn’t think I would be so into dress shopping but its so fun. Cant wait for the next trip…….

Centerpiece Search: Floating Candles

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Even though I loved the feather centerpieces I previously posted about, we decided it was not modern enough and way more than we wanted to spend. We wanted something simple, chic, elegant, and most importantly inexpensive. We would rather use the money in other areas of the  wedding.

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So we settled on candles! We love candles and have them all over our apartment, so it makes sense that we would use them in our  wedding.  Plus they give the look we want at a price we love. We researched prices of supplies online and we can do something like this for about $350 including tax and shipping.  Plus, since we decided what we wanted so early in our planning, we can get the supplies  as we see them on sale so maybe it will end up cheaper.

Do you have any inexpensive centerpiece ideas?

Dress Search: My First Visit to Kleinfelds

I went to Kleinfeld’s this weekend, and though I did not say yes to the dress, I did find a couple of potential dresses.  I didn’t plan on dress shopping this early but one of my best friends (hey Steph!) persuaded me to go and at least try some on. Plus she really wanted to go to Kleinfeld’s. I have to say it was a really great experience. I brought an entourage which included my two future sisters in law and another one of my friends along with Steph. And I am really glad they all came since it helped having different perspectives.

 I put up pictures of some of my favorites, which all happen to be by Maggie Sottero.  I really loved the mermaid silhouette and sweetheart necklines.  And I’m more confident that a birdcage veil is more me than long cathedral veil. I also tried on a beautiful and surprisingly affordable Pina Tornai, but i could not find pictures online.

Sottero & Midgley Adorae

My consultant, Jacqueline, was also pretty great because she gave honest feedback and told me how to get the best bang for my buck. I really expected her to try to sell me on dresses at the higher end of my budget but she showed me dresses on the lower end and encouraged me to choose the dress I loved based on how I felt in the dress and not just the price.



Maggi Sottero Miri



The biggest lesson I took away from the day was that you never know what’s going to look good on you until you try it on. The dresses I thought would look amazing on the hanger just looked ok on me and the dresses I was not sure about turned out to look amazing.



Sottero & Midgley Fantasia



There is one dress that I have been thinking about for the past few days (I wont say which, since the boy sometimes reads my blog). I knew I loved the dress as soon as I put it on, but to me the true test is time, and the more I think about it the more I see myself in it. But of course I can’t make that decision without my mom and my MOH’s at least seeing me in the dress first and I still have plenty of time to decide. At least now I have a dress to compare all the other dresses to.  Stay tuned, the dress hunt is to be continued………