Decorating our Ceremony



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As you may already know, our centerpieces are going to be floating candles. We are obsessed with them and have them throughout our apartment. So naturally this was a décor element we wanted to incorporate into the ceremony space.  We were not sure if our venue would let us do it at first, but they said as long as the flames are enclosed (as in a vase), it would be ok.

I did have a few concerns about fire, but after talking to FI, I think everything will work out. The aisle is very wide  so I don’t have to worry about my dress or the bridal party getting too close to the flames. Plus they will be floating candles and the water levels will be well below the rim of the vase so the flames will be covered.

 I have this crazy seating plan in my head where the guests will be facing the aisle, kind of like a runway at a fashion show. So one of my concerns was the guests potentially kicking them over. It will be adults only, and we will make sure there is enough space between the first row of seats and the aisle for guest to comfortably maneuver without bothering the candles. Should I be worried about this?




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I also thought about spreading the candles apart, since less candles could mean less chance for accidents? As a last resort we could do more traditional seating, but I don’t really want to do that. And I don’t want to get rid of the candles because we are doing very little decoration in the space and the candles make a large impact. We talked about flameless candles but they are pretty expensive,  and we would have the floating candles anyway for the centerpieces.

Is this a crazy idea? How would you decorate my ceremony space ?

RK Bridal: The Sequel

The dress search continues, and since my mom was in town for a few days we took the opportunity to check out a few wedding dresses. I know she will likely not be there when i finally find "the one", but at least i will know the styles she likes and she could see the style i was going for. Plus i would never purchase THE dress without at least sending her a photo. My FI was with us and since he had been helping me find dresses online to try on, i knew he was looking forward to seeing a few in person. Don't worry, he wont know which dress i choose until the wedding day.

This time was a little different than the first time i was there. For one, the consultant i had this time was not really helpful. The first time the consultant really got a feel for what i was looking for, but this lady just helped me in and out of the dresses with no other assistance at all. They have so many dresses and we were rushed into picking the ones to try on so i feel like i need to go back to try one more. I also felt a lot of pressure having my mom and FI there. They are two very important people in my life so i want them to like the dress i choose, but i also didnt want to choose a dress that i didnt love just because the two of them loved it. This is going to be harder than i thought!

So here are the highlights if the trip:

This dress by Jasmine was my moms pick. At first glance I did not think it was going to work since it has a fan on the bust that I figured would  not be flattering on my large chest. But once I put it on, the fan actually looked ok. And i love the trumpet shape of the gown and how it pulls in my waist. The price was pretty good too, i think it was $750. Im not too sure how i feel about the taffeta though since most of the gowns I've been drawn to are satin or organza. Its not bad, just different. And the dress feels a little too romantic for me. I want something a little more edgy and modern. And the biggest issue is FI does not like it.







Jasmine F414



Me in the Dress

 

  I picked out the next dress. I liked the satin and how it was fitted at the top so i figured i would just give it a try. As soon as i say myself in the mirror i ruled it out. It was kind of plain and i wasnt a fan of the pick ups. My mom and FI, however, loved it. Especially after the consultant added a beaded sash (the only thing she added to the appointment). It did look better but i still wasnt sure. They loved it, and it was only $480 which woule mean I could definately afford a reception dress, but it just did not wow me. I didnt feel like it was the one.



Moonlight T450

Me in the Dress

 For the third time I tryed on the Adorae. And for the third time I loved it. I feel good in it, I look great in it, I love the material, I love the bling and it fits my wedding. But it is at the higher end of my budget, so if I want a 2nd dress I have to pay for it on my own (not out of our wedding account). And while I feel like it could be the one, I'm not as sure as everyone tells you you are going to be when you find the one. Not to mention that my mom and FI were not overly impressed. They thought it was ok, but he thought it wasnt dramatic enough and she thought it was too expensive. And they both hated the bubble hem.

Sottero and Midgley Adorae

Me in the Dress

So I guess this dress thing is going to take way longer than I thought. How long did it take you to find your dress and how did you know it was THE ONE?



How my Life has Changed After the Engagement

So we have been engaged for about 7 months now and since 3 and a half year anniversary was last week I reflected on how my life and relationships have changed since the engagement.

 For one thing, I'm way more interested in other peoples marriages and how they interact with each other. You can really learn a lot about what to do and what not to do by talking to and watching married couples.  I'm also a lot more hesitant to say anything negative about my fiancé to my family. Before I might have mentioned little fights we had but now that I am marrying him I feel like I shouldn’t. I really don’t want them judging him based on a disagreement we have since I know at the end of the day we are still going to be together (even if he does refuse to put his clothes in the hamper), and I don’t want them to still be upset with him over something I  already forgave him for.

Our disagreements have also gotten a little more intense. We don’t disagree often, and when we do its not over anything major. But to me, at least, the little things seem a lot more important since it hit me that I have to deal with it forever. However, these little disagreements has led to us really learn how to work through problems together and learn to compromise.

For the most part our engagement has been a very blessed time. I love how we make solid plans for our future. When we were dating we had hopes and dreams of things we wanted to accomplish together, but now we make solid goals with detailed plans on how to achieve them.  Instead of just saying we want to buy a house one day, we have been researching houses so we know how much we can realistically spend and how much we need to be saving for a down payment.

I kind of feel like it has also made us a little more mushy. We were pretty affectionate before, but it really intensified after the engagement. I guess there is something about promising to be with another person for life that really makes you want to kiss them. I really hope this part last well after the wedding.

All in all I hope that this amazing time in our lives actually turns out to be the low point in our lives. I pray that it only gets better from here. A girl can dream, right?

 How has your life changed since you got engaged? Were you surprised or did you expect these changes?

Super Cute STD Idea

Marthastewartweddings.com

I just had to post these adorable save the date matches from Marthastewartweddings.com. Not only are they simple, modern, and affordable, they are also very useful.

What Should my Flower Maid Carry?

We decided to limit our bridal party to our siblings and each one of our best friends. Both of our sister are adults so I decided that my step sister would be our flower Maid (since she is not quite a girl). At the time of the wedding she will be 17, so of course she is too old to use a traditional flower girl basket so i am in search of an alternative.



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 One idea was a sign like the one in the photo above. Its different, pretty easy to make, and wont make her feel like a little girl. I guess my only question is, what will she do with it during the ceremony?

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Another idea is just a simple tin bucket with petals for her to toss. Its classic and elegant and will get the job done without too much fuss.

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Since the bridesmaids will be carrying clutches, i thought it might be cute for her to carry one with petals in it that she would toss. Sounds good in theory, but not too sure how well this would actually turn out.

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My last idea is for her to carry a large fabric flower. You all know how much i wanted to use fabric flowers, so this is a cute way to incorporate them. Plus its simple, chic and mature enough for a 17 year old.

So, what would you have a teenage flower girl carry?

Whats Your Name Again?

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Lately , I have encountered (in real life and online) several engaged women who hesitate taking their future husbands last name. The reasons vary from their professional reputation to family pride and wanting their family name to go on and even simply not liking their future husbands last name.  I was kind of surprised by this since even as a very independent and progressive woman, it never occurred to me that I even had an option of not taking my husbands name.

A name is very important. Its part of who you are and who others perceive you to be. Your name makes you part of a family and no matter how large or small it is, everyone knows you belong because you share that name. Its understandable since you had it since birth, of course it will be difficult to give it up; its part of you identity. Its especially hard for a woman  whose family name will die when she is married. There becomes the extra burden of loyalty to that name and wanting it to continue.

I also see the issue from a feminist standpoint. Why does the female have to take the males name? It does seem like a nod to the notion of women as property. And what about same sex unions? Whose name should they take then?

And how will not taking your husbands last name effect your marriage? Will the husband believe you are fully committed to the relationship if you chose not to take his name? And what about the kids, whose name will they get and will the family really be unified under different last names?

While I don’t judge anyone's decision either way, I have to say that I look forward to taking my future husbands last name. I don’t feel like I will be losing my identity, but instead adding to it as my new role as a wife. As long as the couple agrees, they can do whatever they want.

So what do you think? Does having a different last name than your husband take away from a marriage? Or is it an outdated notion that should be done away with?



Wedding 101: Choosing a Day of Coordinator or Wedding Planner

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Planning a wedding long distance, I knew I was going to need help. True, I have my mom, my FSIL and my MOH's but they don’t plan weddings everyday and I still want them speaking to me by the wedding day, so I knew I needed to find professional help.

So how do you choose a wedding planner or coordinator?

First you need to determine your needs. Are you going to do all the planning yourself and just need someone to coordinate the day of? Do you want someone else to do most of the footwork for you? Or do you want something more in the middle. And most importantly you need to know what your budget is for these services. There is a difference between a wedding planner and a wedding coordinator. A planner is usually with you from the beginning and helps with everything from hiring vendors to coordinating the day of, depending on what you have in your contract. A coordinator usually takes over anywhere from a month out from the wedding to a few days before and generally handles coordinating the rehearsal and making sure the wedding day runs smoothly.

Even before I was officially engaged I started to research coordinators just to get an idea of their prices. When I looked online I kept seeing glowing reviews about a particular planner, so I shot her an email and she answered all my questions and her packages had everything I wanted. Plus she had the lowest prices in the area, while offering the most.  So of course, after meeting her we hired her.

I had very specific things I wanted in a coordinator. I wanted someone to set up/clean up centerpieces, run the rehearsal, contact my vendors to make sure they know when and where they need to be, and to basically take care of any problems that may come up on that day so my fiancé and I don’t have to worry about a thing. I also really like that my coordinator offers an hourly planning service so that if I need any planning assistance before the wedding she is there.

Here are a list of things I wanted to know about potential  coordinators:

• Is wedding planning their primary job?
• How many weddings do they do per weekend?
• Do they have references?
• Do they have photos of events they decorated? (If you are looking for someone who does decorating too)
• How often can you call/email? Will you be charged?
• What is the deposit? When is the final payment due?
• When will they take over my wedding? How long will they stay?
• Have they worked at my venue? Can they recommend vendors?

I also wanted someone who was friendly, seemed genuinely interested in my wedding, and whose personality meshed with ours.

So ladies, did you have a wedding planner or coordinator? How did you find them? And were they worth it?