Private Last Dance

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There are several songs the FI and consider "our song", so we had a very hard time deciding on one for our first dance. We decided we wanted to take dance lessons, so we wanted to choose a song early so we have time to take lessons and get plenty of practice. So while browsing the internet I came across a few lovely shots like the one above, that caught my eye.

What happens is, when all of the guests leave to get ready for your grand exit (or when they all leave if you are not doing one), you and your new husband dance together alone. Its just the two of you, the DJ and the photorapher. Or you could even have the DJ start the song and then step out. So not only do you get another intimate moment with your new husband, but you can also get some great photos!

This seems like a great solution to our first dance song problem since we can pick two songs to dance to. Plus we dont have to eliminate any songs that are difficult to dance to since for the private last dance we can just sway if we want. We plan on limiting it to about 3 minutes, which will give the guests enough time to prepare for our grand exit. Plus I love the idea of having a few moments to basks in the last few minutes of our wedding together.

Did you do this at you wedding or have you ever heard of it?

More stuff I Learned From Others Weddings

This year has been full of weddings for my fiance and I, and we still have at least one more to go. Even before we were engaged, after we attended a wedding we would point out what we would and would not do. So here is a few things we learned from the last two weddings we went to:

• Fake flower petals look fake. We originally planned on using silk petals for the aisle and for the petal toss. They are inexpensive, we can get the exact color we want, and nobody will notice the ones on the aisle are fake.....wrong. We noticed and it really detracted from the decor. So we decided real was the way to go for us, even though its going cost a lot more.
• Really long weddings suck. We all like solos and reading, but they get repetitive after a while. And 2 or more hours is way too long to hold peoples attention. At the last wedding several people made us promise our ceremony would not be so long. An hour, tops, is reasonable.
• Dont start late. Again, both these weddings started at least an hour late. That is super annoying to someone like me who likes to show up early to events. We are starting on time even if all the guests are not there.
• You can have great decor on a budget. I really liked the reception decor at both weddings even though i knew both couples had modest budget. They both had rather large ccenterpieces that really added to the space.
• Bands can be awesome. Both weddings had a live band (the same band) and it really created a nice ambieance. I would not do one for the entire night, but they are great for dinner and cocktail hour.
• Have someone with a list of tables. At the last one we could not find our escort card. Luckily the coordinator was walking around with a list so she could tell us where to sit. My FSIL grabbed our card for us, but we could not find her at the time. This lead to out decision to do a chart instead of cards.
• If people eat too much at the cocktail hour they wont eat a lot at dinner. This has been true at almost all of the NY weddings I have been too. At the last wedding the dinner was pretty good but i could not finish since i was still full from cocktail hour. And they had fruit and salad served before the entree and only a few people actually touched it. What a waste. My fiance refuses to serve a lot a food at our cocktail hour for this very reason. So far we are thinking of only offering fruit and veggies since there will be dinner and a late night buffet.
• Serve dinner while the speeches are being given. At the last wedding, I was not really hungry for dinner, but some people at my table were. And it felt like we had to wait forever for the speeches to end to be served.
• And lastly, make sure your venue is committed to service. The last wedding reception was at a very pretty venue but the service was terrible. In their defense the reception started over an hour late and there was another event right after, but the staff still should have been professional. As soon as my fiance and i arrived we heard a few complaining about the late start and how they had to hurry for the next event. During the cocktail hour if we sat our plate or drink down on the table for a second, someone was comming to take it away. At dinner my FSIL bent down to fix her shoe and when she looked up her plate was gone! I understand the need to move things along but at least ask if the person is done. They all seemed very unhappy to be there and it really brought down the experience for us.

Thats all I have for now. Have you been to any weddings lately? What have you learned?

So....Now I want to do a Wedding Trailer Save the Date!

This is the cutest thing ever :)

Cutting the guest list: The Bridezilla Rumors Begin

Image from We TV's Bridezillas via this

  Well, we received our free save the date postcards from vistaprint.com and plan on mailing them out  in November, about a year before the wedding. My FI was super excited about how they turned out, so while I had his attention I forced him to sit with me and go through the guest list to narrow it down to the people we were actually going to invite.

           This was going to be tough. We originally budgeted for 150 guests but our venue had a 180 minimum so we stretched our budget to meet that. So we really want to keep it at exactly 180. Not to mention that our vendors have to be in our headcount in order to receive vendor meals.

180 may seem like a lot but we still had to leave out some people we care about. My fiancé's father is the pastor of a fairly large church so there are a lot of church member he grew up with that he wants to invite not to  mention friends, coworkers and family members. And then there is my huge family. I have 21 aunts and uncles, most of whom are married and have a few kids so as you could imagine, my family takes up my entire half of the guest list.

So we had to make cuts and limit the list to only the closest friends and family members. We also have an age cutoff at 21 years old and are not extending  +1's (unless they are married or engaged or will not know anyone at the wedding).  Even with all this, there are still a few people that we want but wont fit so we are going to send invites out early and send a second round once we get some no RSVP's.

How did you trim down your guest list? Did you regret it?

How Soon is too Soon to Send Save the Dates?

We went to a vow renewal today, and everyone was asking for details of the wedding, such as the date and location, so they can save for the trip. Many of our guests are flying in from NYC,  a couple from Canada,  at least one from Haiti, a few from other states, and the rest will be driving 45 minutes from Ohio. So I guess it makes sense that people want the travel info now, especially in this economy, since many will have to save for the trip. We planned on doing e-save the dates but vista print gave us 100 free postcards so of course we had to order them!

FI wants to send the save the dates as early as possible but I think we should at least wait until November, one year from the wedding. Is that too early?

Decorating our Ceremony



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As you may already know, our centerpieces are going to be floating candles. We are obsessed with them and have them throughout our apartment. So naturally this was a décor element we wanted to incorporate into the ceremony space.  We were not sure if our venue would let us do it at first, but they said as long as the flames are enclosed (as in a vase), it would be ok.

I did have a few concerns about fire, but after talking to FI, I think everything will work out. The aisle is very wide  so I don’t have to worry about my dress or the bridal party getting too close to the flames. Plus they will be floating candles and the water levels will be well below the rim of the vase so the flames will be covered.

 I have this crazy seating plan in my head where the guests will be facing the aisle, kind of like a runway at a fashion show. So one of my concerns was the guests potentially kicking them over. It will be adults only, and we will make sure there is enough space between the first row of seats and the aisle for guest to comfortably maneuver without bothering the candles. Should I be worried about this?




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I also thought about spreading the candles apart, since less candles could mean less chance for accidents? As a last resort we could do more traditional seating, but I don’t really want to do that. And I don’t want to get rid of the candles because we are doing very little decoration in the space and the candles make a large impact. We talked about flameless candles but they are pretty expensive,  and we would have the floating candles anyway for the centerpieces.

Is this a crazy idea? How would you decorate my ceremony space ?

RK Bridal: The Sequel

The dress search continues, and since my mom was in town for a few days we took the opportunity to check out a few wedding dresses. I know she will likely not be there when i finally find "the one", but at least i will know the styles she likes and she could see the style i was going for. Plus i would never purchase THE dress without at least sending her a photo. My FI was with us and since he had been helping me find dresses online to try on, i knew he was looking forward to seeing a few in person. Don't worry, he wont know which dress i choose until the wedding day.

This time was a little different than the first time i was there. For one, the consultant i had this time was not really helpful. The first time the consultant really got a feel for what i was looking for, but this lady just helped me in and out of the dresses with no other assistance at all. They have so many dresses and we were rushed into picking the ones to try on so i feel like i need to go back to try one more. I also felt a lot of pressure having my mom and FI there. They are two very important people in my life so i want them to like the dress i choose, but i also didnt want to choose a dress that i didnt love just because the two of them loved it. This is going to be harder than i thought!

So here are the highlights if the trip:

This dress by Jasmine was my moms pick. At first glance I did not think it was going to work since it has a fan on the bust that I figured would  not be flattering on my large chest. But once I put it on, the fan actually looked ok. And i love the trumpet shape of the gown and how it pulls in my waist. The price was pretty good too, i think it was $750. Im not too sure how i feel about the taffeta though since most of the gowns I've been drawn to are satin or organza. Its not bad, just different. And the dress feels a little too romantic for me. I want something a little more edgy and modern. And the biggest issue is FI does not like it.







Jasmine F414



Me in the Dress

 

  I picked out the next dress. I liked the satin and how it was fitted at the top so i figured i would just give it a try. As soon as i say myself in the mirror i ruled it out. It was kind of plain and i wasnt a fan of the pick ups. My mom and FI, however, loved it. Especially after the consultant added a beaded sash (the only thing she added to the appointment). It did look better but i still wasnt sure. They loved it, and it was only $480 which woule mean I could definately afford a reception dress, but it just did not wow me. I didnt feel like it was the one.



Moonlight T450

Me in the Dress

 For the third time I tryed on the Adorae. And for the third time I loved it. I feel good in it, I look great in it, I love the material, I love the bling and it fits my wedding. But it is at the higher end of my budget, so if I want a 2nd dress I have to pay for it on my own (not out of our wedding account). And while I feel like it could be the one, I'm not as sure as everyone tells you you are going to be when you find the one. Not to mention that my mom and FI were not overly impressed. They thought it was ok, but he thought it wasnt dramatic enough and she thought it was too expensive. And they both hated the bubble hem.

Sottero and Midgley Adorae

Me in the Dress

So I guess this dress thing is going to take way longer than I thought. How long did it take you to find your dress and how did you know it was THE ONE?