Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Weddetiquett Wars: Adults Only!

Mr Crying Pants, originally uploaded by Marc Vosburgh.
Im a member of several wedding forums and a hot topic is adults only wedding. Do you want to see a sweet mommy turn into a lioness? Let her know her cub is not invited to your big day!

There are great reasons why children should be invited such as the idea that weddings are a celebration for friends and families and children should be part of that celebration. And you have to love all the cute photo opportunities that kids create.

But its not all good. We've all been to the wedding where a toddler screamed through the vows. Or where the parents were hanging out at the bar while their children ran wild. And the fact that if its a late night reception, many parents will leave early to put their kids to bed.

Mr. Modern and I have decided to have a child free wedding (except for my nephew), for several reasons. The main reason is we have been to too many weddings wher children were disruptive and we dont want to deal with that. We also plan on having an open bar, and a dance club atmosphere- not an ideal place for children. And we want our guest to relax, have some drinks, and have fun without worrying about their children. And most importantly, we dont want to pay for them.

Dont get me wrong, I love children, but there are just certain events that are nout suited for them. Now if i was having an afternoon wedding, outdoors with lots of space, and inexpensive catering, i would invite all the children in my family. But since we dont have kids, its just not the type of event we want.

Are you thinking of having an adults only reception? Here are some tips to consider:

- Make an age limit. We are doing 21 and up, but you could make the age 12, 16, 18 etc.
-Allow only certain children such as immediate family, your children only, or weddin party only. Other than these specific groups, you risk offending guest who couldnt bring their children if you allow some and not others.
-Make sure people know before making travel plans. Have your parents/ wedding party spread the word, put it on your wedding website, put it on your save the dates and even put "Adults Only" on your invites. That last one is controversial, but if you know it will be an issue with your guest, i would let them know in every way possible.
-Consider offering your guests options. You could have a seperate room for the kids, hire a baby sitter at a different location, or provide guest with a list of local sitters.
-Dont give in. There will be people who think they are the exception or their children are special and should come anyway. Do not allow them to sway your decision. Most people can leave their children for a few hours. If a guest shows up with a child, tell them you are sorry you cant accomodate them. Again, you will offend the guest who actually respected your wishes and didnt bring their children.

There is nothing wrong with having children at your wedding, but just know that you dont have to. Its up to the couple and the type of event they want to have. What do you think about all of this? Are you having children at your wedding?

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